Mindfulness in Everyday Life

• “It’s pleasurable for its own sake.” I hate to say this – but no, it isn’t! At least not for me. Yes, if I’m mindful while I’m brushing my teeth, I get a more intense, vivid sense of the bristles etc.… But why do I want that???

Mindfulness sucks because it really highlights all the traps our minds lay down for us down the road. So it’s tough being awake and just seeing how badly adapted you are to this life you’ve made. Just so much suffering. Consider for a moment why you need the podcast to get through brushing your teeth or some other mundane activity. What is it that makes you need the distraction so much? Answering that question is more important (for now) than being present!Also, you say you have no problem absorbing yourself into a pleasurable activity without mindfulness. But then you obviously state here you have a problem absorbing yourself in a non-pleasurable activity like brushing your teeth (because you need the podcast). So obviously, the absorption is very conditional and predicated not on the activity itself. After all, the pleasure you feel is a function of your expectations and the execution of the activity. So part of the absorption itself is predicated on your mental state (expectations). So what can mindfulness do for you in this situation? It’ll be able to get you questioning the assumptions and expectations your mind has made about pleasure, pain, and everything in between. What is the goal of the activity? (Is brushing your teeth really about pleasure? Hmmmmm…)

• “It will deepen your meditation practice.” OK, but at this point, the whole thing is kind of circular…

Nope, the circular logic is fine. It’s like any other mental habit; the more you’re angry in one situation, you’re more likely to use anger in the future to solve issues. The more you daydream about escaping reality, the more you’ll daydream in general. Whether these habits are good or bad is not the question, they’re just habits. Mindfulness is the same way. The more you use it, the more it’ll grow, and the more it grows, the more you’ll use it. Whether you decide to use it to grow it or grow it to use it is up to your perspective :). So… What’s the end goal? Mastery of your mind. Not being a slave to your habits, not being drawn into toxic or unwholesome thoughts. Being able to cultivate happiness wherever and whenever it’s required. Replacing mindlessness with mindfulness takes a long time to achieve because we’re so used to letting our mind run on autopilot with its built-in assumptions and expectations. And some of these expectations and assumptions can be about mindfulness itself (but I’ll let you work on this out yourself).3. “It will help you unlock the benefits of meditation in the rest of your life.” By which I mean focus, mood, detachment etc. – you know, all the things we were promised. Can anyone confirm that this is true? If so, how much do I have to do it?

It’s true. Here’s a little summary of how my life looks with meditation… I’m deep into the path. Maybe 2000+ hours of meditation on cushion total, but I’ve lost count. That’s not including mindfulness in daily life. How much do you need to practice isn’t possible to know until you’ve reached the end goal. I’m still finding out how much practice I need to reach complete mastery :)Don’t force mindfulness off the cushion if you cannot do it. It’ll happen naturally. Mindfulness is a skill that we learn. And the thing about it is that it’s applicable everywhere and anywhere. Compare it to driving a car. Okay, when you were learning to drive, your instructor probably kept quiet and didn’t talk to you much. Because you were learning. A skill was growing, and the attention required was high. To talk would be to interrupt you. But as you got better, you could talk freely with your driving instructor about whatever because driving had now become an ingrained skill. This is the same as mindfulness. Don’t try and push it too far. It’ll ease into your life naturally, and you’ll be able to have and cultivate mindfulness all the time. Be patient with yourself and trust the process.You’ll get benefits. 30-45mins per day is the minimum, I’d say. Mindfulness is only competing with other mental resources now because the attention required to sustain the skill is high — this is a good sign that your mind is learning and developing the skill. This is very normal and to be expected. Go easy on yourself; this isn’t an easy thing that comes all at once. Of course, I’d also question the whole assumption of “inherently rewarding” regarding mindfulness; that’s just a mental game your mind is playing… for now… Based on assumptions and expectations which it has constructed.

• I know some people will respond to this post by saying, “Your mindset is totally wrong …

Everyone gets something out of the spiritual path. And yeah, you could do with a little patience, some relaxation, and some trust. If you’re practicing well, if you’re diligent, the results will come eventually. Plenty of people experience the benefit of meditation every day. It works. It will work for you. I have a feeling that no data or spreadsheet would actually satisfy you because you keep talking about how your experience doesn’t seem to be matching your expectations or assumptions about the path. Because this is really a case of lacking faith and feeling the doubt creeping in, you want some reassurance rather than hard data. But the proof is in the pudding: meditation has been transmitted since Buddha’s time (2500+ years of transmission) with countless success stories for monastics and non-monastics alike, and now meditation is being taken on by modern psychology as a tool to increase happiness and reduce mental anguish. Put into this perspective: meditation has outlasted a tonne of languages that were spoken in its time of conception (e.g. Latin or ancient Egyptian), and language is a fundamental part of human existence! What more do you want!? :)

Take it easy and let things happen. All in good time!